Complicated feeling

I've always said that I don't want to see him again because I'm afraid in falling in love again after what had happened in national services. after I frust that taking longest time to get heal. imm. that man really taught me about not to giving all your heart into a man that you just know. don't ever be a girl that giving all your heart to your crush. it really hurting. and thats why in matriculation and even in degree... I don't want to be fall in love again.. let it be crush and not more than that. but with this man I met in degree life, ML, he's in second year student,, I don't know I kept met him even though I don't want to. this another man MZ. he's same batch as me. he's like IMM. that time when I had presentation on hubungan etnik, I went to cafe kaca before the presentation start. so, after that I met L, he's using stairs to 3rd floor while I'm using lift. he looked at me and I just change my back from him... I don't want to see him... after that I entered the DK1. I went to toilet for checking my clothes. after that I met him again. he looked at me again. aaaahhhhh I don't know what is wrong with you. you have hijrah right.?? that's I why I stepped aside because I know I won't be by your side... because of hijrah...