that doa tho

 so im in plkn. when i was crazy of Y. syira kinda said to me.... wan recite this Doa...

= "Ya Allah, jika dia buatku, dekatkanlah. jika dia bukan untukku. jauhkanlah." 

i recite that kinda  whole week. so, you know what. hes gone. ahahhahahahahaha

i just realised that now

omg

wan you should stop dreaming ahahahhahahaha

another dream (kinda hurts and cringe? af)

 so like it started like this. i was close to this man. a very popular man and handsome. i didnt knew him. and yet i was so close to him. so like im been attacked by girls who want that man. and yet i didnt care cuz i feel like it doesnt matter tho. obviously that man noticed. and suddenly that man asked me out. and i accepted. 

so everything went as usual until i didnt know why but suddenly that man decided to stop our relationship. and i was flustered and flabbergasted. 

yes i did move on. i forget everything bout him trying to move on. and i didnt have any enemies. since i didnt contacted that man ever. so,,, after all that break up. ive became a new person. i changed, i went to a famous girl. girls who hates me before became friends of mine. 

so after that i became beautiful. and i suddenly saw that man. i just ignored him and just left him. i didnt feel like i need to have any regret or somethings. ahahhahaha

so like i met this new man..... everything went perfectly but,.... i didnt know why the hell that man (ex) came to me... with that rage....

aahhhhhhh after all this,,, i kinda realised... im in bridgerton series

what defak

no worries i cant continue cuz i woke up

another dream after a hectic exam week

 so yeah another freaking dreamland.

so like my family moves to somewhere else. and i woke up listening that lots of my friends came to see me... i saw my fon's noti... they were like asking me why did i moved and some of em like i didnt know who asking me to send picture of mine and asking to know me better the hell.

so yeah i dont care about others but i just saw imran was there. (at this point irl i was like i do fall inlove with him but not more than crush cuz i didnt like how the fact that his family kinda too high standards.

and i was there eating w pika n ama... before that like theres 2 men came and like wanted to make friend. but ignore obviously... how i always ignore when im irl. 

so like ama said, how im being so damn concerned about me. asking why i moved. and somehow he saved me by catching snakes around my house like what 3 times? dont ask me why.......

and then.. i said,, why did he sacrificed himself to help me. but then ama said,,, its kinda sus when im said that actually you, wan already saved him 3 time. and now he saved you 3 times too... but i didnt get the whole meaning of what i did to save him...

so yeah ofcourse as usual at the climax ... the moments had come. i woke up

im melt

 I just remembered when standard 6, theres a prefect camp.  And as always video of a mother underwent a surgery for pregnancy. And i cried. A lot. A lot. And infront of me, they were wan hidayat,  fazlihi,  faqrul n more. N then i cnt remember whose the one that told me to stop crying. And suddenly fazlihi said... Let her.... Biar la dia nak nangis. At least dia menghargai..... Wat the fuck babe

why now?

 I dont know why did i kept on dreaming about irfan and his geng...  Omg i still cant forget everything about cheras. That dream i was alone... And theres irfan n his geng like...  Were there too. And one of his friend... I didnt know who but its quite familiar. He kept on trying to talk to me. I ran. Obviously. But he kept on waiting for me. Like this one i was in toilet but he kept on waiting. And waiting. Irfan n the geng were there watching us...?  

Just like... Ive never thought about him. But why?  All of sudden they come back and disturbs me...  Makes my heart all this strange feelings

and then this another one, i dream about them,, but i was in a embarrassing condition... like im not wearing pants.. what the hell wan... then, one of them like saw me in that state. hahahahha

so yeah... they kept on like existing everywhere i go... why?!!!!

my question is why them? why now?

the fact that im still haunted by the failure of 3 years ago

 Idk where to start but, i went somewhere place.. Well u know how i slove library.... But in this dream, i went to library just like a fantasy,... Its like the most beautiful and amazing library with big globe center and many stairs,, lots of stairs and... Bla bla bla... 

I went there with my 2 friends. But somehow, there's also a group of my ex coursemates...  From medical u.  

Damn... I tried to run away from them... Oh gosh.... And then i cant remember.... But i saw them looking at them w sympathy

Ohh.... How long do i need to feel like im a loser who failed medical school.. its been 3 years tho.. still i cant move on from that black hole pit. the fact that im a loser, a failure

so far this is my worst dream ever

to begin with,,, i dream about a guys who had been in relationship with me for a long time. and we were supposed to continue our relationship to another level. but i didnt knew what happened... someone came, a third wheel ... i guess.... and destroyed everything. so he decided to ditch me. what de heck.... after all this time...

maybe i was dreaming about that because, nowadays, lots of news about 3rd wheeled who destroy other marriage.

so, what i did, i totally fine and just let them be... and i start my new life. and the bad story ends here, as i found another man. and...... as usual....

i woke up.

the end.

hehhehehehehe

f1 kau lagi

Aku taktau kenapa kau selalu muncul... Aku tak teringat tau tak terpikir pon pasal kau.... Tapi kenapa selalu muncul ek. But this time. You talk to me... For a long time...  But still i couldnt talk to you. Omg. What is this feeling.  I felt like im still lower than you

doh... aku taktau la nape kau kerap muncul

Ive never expecting to see or even to dream about you. I just dont know why. I kept on dreaming about u being so nice to me. This week... Ive been dreaming about you twice. 

You keep on being nice to me. You talk to me and i do appreciate it F1.. Even though it is not real you ... Hahahah...  But if one day, we were meant to meet somewhere... 

I hope i am already in a state where i can proudly introduce myself to you. That im no longer the same person from 6 bestari. 

i dont know! i fuckin dont know.

Since pkp...  Ive been dreaming about these 2. Motherfuckers...  I thought that ive already forgotten about them.  This F1...  Have been in my dreams babes...  Since pkp...  Already 4 times...  What the hell man. And the most unforgivable part, when the settings were the same. In school. Ive been in a fuckin nightmares where everything have to be replayed, ive been in a school and facing the facts that im a failure. Ive been reminded that i had failed once. Once! One huge failure. These 2 years...  Almost 3 years...  Ive been haunted to be a failed person. Thats harsh man. Asides from that. 

F1 been in my dreams..  For many times...  I donno why but i never thought about him. But suddenly ive been dreaming a lot about him. Why tho? 

And Ab...  Also..  Kept on existing in my head....  What the hell. 

MR A ahhahaha

To begin with...  I knew alifi from ira...  Obviously.  She knew every person in ukm.  I dont fuckin mind. So we s 1st gear having dance and musical theatre show in dinner opto 2020 on 14 march 2020.

To celebrate them,  my group consists of me,  ira,  ika, yong, carmen, cheng qian, and jia ye. We did practice chinese dance. 

Bla bla bla ba ba ba black sheep. Alifi, at 1st...  I didnt know why the heck...  I felt this uncomfortable and awkward feeling with him. Naaaahh whatever. 

Then our 2nd meeting for rehearsal. We were doing at old kshop there. Presenting our dance and others show. I was dancing like hell.  I was fuckin shy you know...  Id never dreamt to participate in any dance...  But now im glad. I have a such beautiful wonderful amazing memories to be keep. 

So that night...  After we presented dance. Alifi commented haow i should be smiling instead of making angry face and looking at floor. So that time. He knew my name. Wan. 

For 2nd time dance. I was too quickly to sit down. And the center was missed. And jia ye kinda push me a bit with her knee. And others might misunderstood that i fallen pushed by someone. Actually its not hurt...  Whatever... 

Then alifi commented for 2nd time. He thought someone pushed be. He said...  Wan kau ok ke?  Kaki macam mana...  Ada orang tolak wan ke?. 

Actually im not that hurt laaa...  I was laughing like crazy. And others like sympathize me for nothing. 

Im okay bitch. 

Bla bla bla...  I was chosen to be an usher, flower girl or petal girl. Bla bla black pearl. 

I went for next kbd meeting.  Wrapping flower. Then alifi went there...  Otw to his room. Saw me there. And ask... Wanwan kau ok keee... 

. Omggg hell yeahhh

Ahhaha one day...  I was at cafe. Waiting for mee bandung.  Then i was picking my food. I saw alifi came. And suddenly he greeted me. Hai wan fatini...  Aww...  How does he knew my name. 

Then today 12 march. He accompanied beside me...  Practicing to be flower girl. Bla bla bla that...  Even tho zi shan was there too. He kept calling my name. And also,  kept saying zi shan name wrongly. The heckkk...  He is so cute...  He is too precious... But its too early to have him in my crush lists.... 

Stay tuned guysss.