26 MARCH - WEIRD AND KINDA DARK REALLY?

so dreamt about i went to school. and somehow... im in a some kind of in hardship. i didnt know why but the settings were in school. i was there, once i entered the class. so, like narmi prepared my table. and then he disappeared. but the came the twins nad, they came asking, wether it is true or not. so like? then i remembered. i went school despite im having family's problem. and the fact that my mom actually feeling unwell. where she's still unconscious. 

but then, im looking for my chair. and suddenly F1 came and gave me his chair and he sit next to me. i said that, its okayi can take my own chair, but he insisted.

how lovely. ( the fact that im too scared to talk to him irl. but he seems too sweet and concern about me in dream. same goes to narmi. these past 2 years, i realized. how these 2 kept on popped up in my dream. i just want to thank for making me happy. ahahahhaha de hell)

but then, somehow, sir aiman and sir haziq were there, teaching. hahahahaha and throughout the teaching process, F1 keep asking, how i feel. asking bout problem. he just ask too many questions. how i appreciated that. lovely. seriously. thanks for making my dream lovely ahahhhahahahaha

my kind of ability HAAHAHAHAHHAHAHA de fak

since primary school, i oftenly dream. at first i always dreamt something dark. like how ustaz said that kind of dream means something bad happened. well, i knew it. and then, everything started there. a man that i didnt know who. but that man always popped up in my dream . different days. but same character. 

so like one thing i know for sure, whenever i dream. i can decide what happen and what to do. but sometime la... so like i googled, of kos....

it is called lucid dream.

so yeah my useless ability. but one thing for sure, i can remember every single thing happend. like it was very clear, the place, the setting, the character. excepts the man that i didnt know

and sometimes, my dream can be continued. like it just naturally continued from the last 2 years dream. like same person, same place, what the hell

another day another mimpi another post

 yeah im back with another mimpi... 

i was with my bestfriends... we were talking somewhere. but then, theres came a group of men. popular and handsome. which is i know i would never be with em...

yeah and as usual... i just pretending that i dont care...ignoring em... and suddenly i just went to canteen.. wanted to buy something to eat. then came the leader of the popular boy group just now... standing beside me..

i just ignore it and he said something but i cant exactly hear it..

he kept on asking to be friend with me.. i just feels like i cant.. im not suits him... and i just ran ran ran

i cnt really remember what he did.. but he did something really big i presume,, he did something to amaze me. he did many things .. but i dont know... i just cant accepting him...

i didnt know why but he is a really good man. but i was insecure and i cant think of any of the chances to be with him.. 

but long story short.. finally i accepted him... and then the story continues with my friend.. with the same problem... INSECURE

fi....

 i just realized that you are my first boyfriend ive ever had actually... but i dump you. im sorry.... its for our sake.... f idham

that doa tho

 so im in plkn. when i was crazy of Y. syira kinda said to me.... wan recite this Doa...

= "Ya Allah, jika dia buatku, dekatkanlah. jika dia bukan untukku. jauhkanlah." 

i recite that kinda  whole week. so, you know what. hes gone. ahahhahahahahaha

i just realised that now

omg

wan you should stop dreaming ahahahhahahaha

another dream (kinda hurts and cringe? af)

 so like it started like this. i was close to this man. a very popular man and handsome. i didnt knew him. and yet i was so close to him. so like im been attacked by girls who want that man. and yet i didnt care cuz i feel like it doesnt matter tho. obviously that man noticed. and suddenly that man asked me out. and i accepted. 

so everything went as usual until i didnt know why but suddenly that man decided to stop our relationship. and i was flustered and flabbergasted. 

yes i did move on. i forget everything bout him trying to move on. and i didnt have any enemies. since i didnt contacted that man ever. so,,, after all that break up. ive became a new person. i changed, i went to a famous girl. girls who hates me before became friends of mine. 

so after that i became beautiful. and i suddenly saw that man. i just ignored him and just left him. i didnt feel like i need to have any regret or somethings. ahahhahaha

so like i met this new man..... everything went perfectly but,.... i didnt know why the hell that man (ex) came to me... with that rage....

aahhhhhhh after all this,,, i kinda realised... im in bridgerton series

what defak

no worries i cant continue cuz i woke up

another dream after a hectic exam week

 so yeah another freaking dreamland.

so like my family moves to somewhere else. and i woke up listening that lots of my friends came to see me... i saw my fon's noti... they were like asking me why did i moved and some of em like i didnt know who asking me to send picture of mine and asking to know me better the hell.

so yeah i dont care about others but i just saw imran was there. (at this point irl i was like i do fall inlove with him but not more than crush cuz i didnt like how the fact that his family kinda too high standards.

and i was there eating w pika n ama... before that like theres 2 men came and like wanted to make friend. but ignore obviously... how i always ignore when im irl. 

so like ama said, how im being so damn concerned about me. asking why i moved. and somehow he saved me by catching snakes around my house like what 3 times? dont ask me why.......

and then.. i said,, why did he sacrificed himself to help me. but then ama said,,, its kinda sus when im said that actually you, wan already saved him 3 time. and now he saved you 3 times too... but i didnt get the whole meaning of what i did to save him...

so yeah ofcourse as usual at the climax ... the moments had come. i woke up

im melt

 I just remembered when standard 6, theres a prefect camp.  And as always video of a mother underwent a surgery for pregnancy. And i cried. A lot. A lot. And infront of me, they were wan hidayat,  fazlihi,  faqrul n more. N then i cnt remember whose the one that told me to stop crying. And suddenly fazlihi said... Let her.... Biar la dia nak nangis. At least dia menghargai..... Wat the fuck babe

why now?

 I dont know why did i kept on dreaming about irfan and his geng...  Omg i still cant forget everything about cheras. That dream i was alone... And theres irfan n his geng like...  Were there too. And one of his friend... I didnt know who but its quite familiar. He kept on trying to talk to me. I ran. Obviously. But he kept on waiting for me. Like this one i was in toilet but he kept on waiting. And waiting. Irfan n the geng were there watching us...?  

Just like... Ive never thought about him. But why?  All of sudden they come back and disturbs me...  Makes my heart all this strange feelings

and then this another one, i dream about them,, but i was in a embarrassing condition... like im not wearing pants.. what the hell wan... then, one of them like saw me in that state. hahahahha

so yeah... they kept on like existing everywhere i go... why?!!!!

my question is why them? why now?

the fact that im still haunted by the failure of 3 years ago

 Idk where to start but, i went somewhere place.. Well u know how i slove library.... But in this dream, i went to library just like a fantasy,... Its like the most beautiful and amazing library with big globe center and many stairs,, lots of stairs and... Bla bla bla... 

I went there with my 2 friends. But somehow, there's also a group of my ex coursemates...  From medical u.  

Damn... I tried to run away from them... Oh gosh.... And then i cant remember.... But i saw them looking at them w sympathy

Ohh.... How long do i need to feel like im a loser who failed medical school.. its been 3 years tho.. still i cant move on from that black hole pit. the fact that im a loser, a failure

so far this is my worst dream ever

to begin with,,, i dream about a guys who had been in relationship with me for a long time. and we were supposed to continue our relationship to another level. but i didnt knew what happened... someone came, a third wheel ... i guess.... and destroyed everything. so he decided to ditch me. what de heck.... after all this time...

maybe i was dreaming about that because, nowadays, lots of news about 3rd wheeled who destroy other marriage.

so, what i did, i totally fine and just let them be... and i start my new life. and the bad story ends here, as i found another man. and...... as usual....

i woke up.

the end.

hehhehehehehe