another day another mimpi another post

 yeah im back with another mimpi... 

i was with my bestfriends... we were talking somewhere. but then, theres came a group of men. popular and handsome. which is i know i would never be with em...

yeah and as usual... i just pretending that i dont care...ignoring em... and suddenly i just went to canteen.. wanted to buy something to eat. then came the leader of the popular boy group just now... standing beside me..

i just ignore it and he said something but i cant exactly hear it..

he kept on asking to be friend with me.. i just feels like i cant.. im not suits him... and i just ran ran ran

i cnt really remember what he did.. but he did something really big i presume,, he did something to amaze me. he did many things .. but i dont know... i just cant accepting him...

i didnt know why but he is a really good man. but i was insecure and i cant think of any of the chances to be with him.. 

but long story short.. finally i accepted him... and then the story continues with my friend.. with the same problem... INSECURE

fi....

 i just realized that you are my first boyfriend ive ever had actually... but i dump you. im sorry.... its for our sake.... f idham

that doa tho

 so im in plkn. when i was crazy of Y. syira kinda said to me.... wan recite this Doa...

= "Ya Allah, jika dia buatku, dekatkanlah. jika dia bukan untukku. jauhkanlah." 

i recite that kinda  whole week. so, you know what. hes gone. ahahhahahahahaha

i just realised that now

omg

wan you should stop dreaming ahahahhahahaha

another dream (kinda hurts and cringe? af)

 so like it started like this. i was close to this man. a very popular man and handsome. i didnt knew him. and yet i was so close to him. so like im been attacked by girls who want that man. and yet i didnt care cuz i feel like it doesnt matter tho. obviously that man noticed. and suddenly that man asked me out. and i accepted. 

so everything went as usual until i didnt know why but suddenly that man decided to stop our relationship. and i was flustered and flabbergasted. 

yes i did move on. i forget everything bout him trying to move on. and i didnt have any enemies. since i didnt contacted that man ever. so,,, after all that break up. ive became a new person. i changed, i went to a famous girl. girls who hates me before became friends of mine. 

so after that i became beautiful. and i suddenly saw that man. i just ignored him and just left him. i didnt feel like i need to have any regret or somethings. ahahhahaha

so like i met this new man..... everything went perfectly but,.... i didnt know why the hell that man (ex) came to me... with that rage....

aahhhhhhh after all this,,, i kinda realised... im in bridgerton series

what defak

no worries i cant continue cuz i woke up

another dream after a hectic exam week

 so yeah another freaking dreamland.

so like my family moves to somewhere else. and i woke up listening that lots of my friends came to see me... i saw my fon's noti... they were like asking me why did i moved and some of em like i didnt know who asking me to send picture of mine and asking to know me better the hell.

so yeah i dont care about others but i just saw imran was there. (at this point irl i was like i do fall inlove with him but not more than crush cuz i didnt like how the fact that his family kinda too high standards.

and i was there eating w pika n ama... before that like theres 2 men came and like wanted to make friend. but ignore obviously... how i always ignore when im irl. 

so like ama said, how im being so damn concerned about me. asking why i moved. and somehow he saved me by catching snakes around my house like what 3 times? dont ask me why.......

and then.. i said,, why did he sacrificed himself to help me. but then ama said,,, its kinda sus when im said that actually you, wan already saved him 3 time. and now he saved you 3 times too... but i didnt get the whole meaning of what i did to save him...

so yeah ofcourse as usual at the climax ... the moments had come. i woke up

im melt

 I just remembered when standard 6, theres a prefect camp.  And as always video of a mother underwent a surgery for pregnancy. And i cried. A lot. A lot. And infront of me, they were wan hidayat,  fazlihi,  faqrul n more. N then i cnt remember whose the one that told me to stop crying. And suddenly fazlihi said... Let her.... Biar la dia nak nangis. At least dia menghargai..... Wat the fuck babe

why now?

 I dont know why did i kept on dreaming about irfan and his geng...  Omg i still cant forget everything about cheras. That dream i was alone... And theres irfan n his geng like...  Were there too. And one of his friend... I didnt know who but its quite familiar. He kept on trying to talk to me. I ran. Obviously. But he kept on waiting for me. Like this one i was in toilet but he kept on waiting. And waiting. Irfan n the geng were there watching us...?  

Just like... Ive never thought about him. But why?  All of sudden they come back and disturbs me...  Makes my heart all this strange feelings

and then this another one, i dream about them,, but i was in a embarrassing condition... like im not wearing pants.. what the hell wan... then, one of them like saw me in that state. hahahahha

so yeah... they kept on like existing everywhere i go... why?!!!!

my question is why them? why now?

the fact that im still haunted by the failure of 3 years ago

 Idk where to start but, i went somewhere place.. Well u know how i slove library.... But in this dream, i went to library just like a fantasy,... Its like the most beautiful and amazing library with big globe center and many stairs,, lots of stairs and... Bla bla bla... 

I went there with my 2 friends. But somehow, there's also a group of my ex coursemates...  From medical u.  

Damn... I tried to run away from them... Oh gosh.... And then i cant remember.... But i saw them looking at them w sympathy

Ohh.... How long do i need to feel like im a loser who failed medical school.. its been 3 years tho.. still i cant move on from that black hole pit. the fact that im a loser, a failure

so far this is my worst dream ever

to begin with,,, i dream about a guys who had been in relationship with me for a long time. and we were supposed to continue our relationship to another level. but i didnt knew what happened... someone came, a third wheel ... i guess.... and destroyed everything. so he decided to ditch me. what de heck.... after all this time...

maybe i was dreaming about that because, nowadays, lots of news about 3rd wheeled who destroy other marriage.

so, what i did, i totally fine and just let them be... and i start my new life. and the bad story ends here, as i found another man. and...... as usual....

i woke up.

the end.

hehhehehehehe

f1 kau lagi

Aku taktau kenapa kau selalu muncul... Aku tak teringat tau tak terpikir pon pasal kau.... Tapi kenapa selalu muncul ek. But this time. You talk to me... For a long time...  But still i couldnt talk to you. Omg. What is this feeling.  I felt like im still lower than you

doh... aku taktau la nape kau kerap muncul

Ive never expecting to see or even to dream about you. I just dont know why. I kept on dreaming about u being so nice to me. This week... Ive been dreaming about you twice. 

You keep on being nice to me. You talk to me and i do appreciate it F1.. Even though it is not real you ... Hahahah...  But if one day, we were meant to meet somewhere... 

I hope i am already in a state where i can proudly introduce myself to you. That im no longer the same person from 6 bestari.