xmungkin.. tu saja-saja kan… kannnn.. kannnnnnnnn

28/11/2017 SELASA

Hari ni ada theatre #biarkudukung… maacm biasa… diorg nk selpi je.. so, join je la.. dah diorg ajak. Bila azah post kat insta.. dia g mention nama aku and tulis cumel.. damn azah… pastu AA like post tu… then, azah terkejut laaa sbb before ni dia xpnh like.. pastu bila ada aku,…. Baru nak like.. at first aku senyap..\\

Pastu nk g mcd…. Nk smbut birthday…birthday kak zana… aku Tanya azlinah, selama dia buat ig story, AA tu ada tgk x… dia kata xde…

Masalahnya, dia selalu tgk aku punya… hahhahaha apakah~~~~

Terus laa diorg kenang balik semua yg jadi kat kem… AA awat hang suka panggil nama aku… nak tahu kenapa… 

xmungkin.. tu saja-saja kan… kannnn.. kannnnnnnnn

kem memperkasakan mahasiswa 6.0 (1)

Jumaat 10/11/2017

Lepas exam TOB… aku pergi ke ulu Langat (if I was not mistaken)… hahaha,, kem ni kem memperkasakan mahasiswa 6.0… ok kem ni utk budak yg pnh resit paper… so… those yg pnh fail… ada laa mukanya.

Then. Hari pertama, nama consultant tu… ipminda… ada 3 consultant. USTAZ AZLAN, USTAZ ASYRAF AMRAN DAN USTAZ DANIEL. Masa hari first, biasa laaa… fasa kenal diri. Ada tiga bentuk segi empat, bulat , segi tiga , dan hexagon. Aku pilih segi empat or square. Hmmm…. Dia seorang yg sensitive dan senang buat kerja dalam kesempurnaan. 

Lepas tu. Ada game. Di mana semua orang jalan2 dan bila ustaz azlan sebut 3 orang… maka semua akan cari pasangan dan 3 orang akan duduk. Siapa yg xde pasangan kena denda. So ada 3, 5, 7, dan 9 orang… last2 sekali 9 orang… dimana 9 orang tu la kumpulan sampai habis kem. 

So dalam grup aku.. AKU, WAN HAKIM, SU, AZ, SARAH, AINA, SALAH, MEERA, ANIS. So kami punya grup nama diberi nama SAIDINA ABU BAKAR sempena JUJUR, AMANAH DAN BERANI. Maka ustaz AA bagi la satu kain putih untuk lukis logo kumpulan. So idea aina ada love kat tgh ada alquran dan dua pedang tusuk hati tu. So aku illustrate logo tu.. and suruh su lukis kat kain. Sbb dia mmg pandai lukis. So aku ngan wan … warna logo tu… 

Lepas habis tu, cipta cheers AS ALWAYS… HEH. So disebabkan diorang xde idea.. so aku pon terpaksa guna cheers masa plkn. Yg Charlie.. yg si bazil cipta tu.. guna lagu we were rock you.. hahaha klau xsalah. 

Hari kedua, solat pastu makan. Lepas tu start ngan pembentangan logo ngn cheers. Start dgn kumpulan azah. Kumpulan AZZAHRAWI. Tokoh pembedahan moden. Dalam kumpulan tu ada, azah – razi dan byk first year. Then kumpulan IBNU SINA= luqman, yond, fatialia dll. Then kumpulan aku. Pastu kumpulan ALFATEH. Ohh ye lupa… semalam (hari first) ada lantikan penghulu dan penghulu wati. Penghulu = YOND – WANHAKIM. Penghuluwati – SALWA – FARZANA – AKU…. HIKHOK………

Lepas perbentangan ada, taichi kejap. Ni abang Daniel tu leads. Masa dia ajar.. aku buat betol2 sbb dia akan panggil sape yang salah kedepan dan kena denda. Pastu aku buat la leklok… aku xtau awat si abang AA tu macam dh target aku… so, aku nmpak dia cari kesalahan aku. So, aku pon buat dengan bersungguh2. 

Lepas habis. Abang Daniel panggil 3 orang yg salah tu… pastu dia Tanya laaa… ada yg volunteer x… aku mmg xnak la… pastu tetiba abng aa panggil nama aku… FATINI NAK… aku pon.. terbeliak mata terus geleng2. Pastu abg Daniel Tanya . nak tak.. aku geleng lagi… lepas taichi ada senaman menari… haha dengan lagu, JEPUN TOOTY TA… damn… hahha, klau nk tau… g search youtube. Nasib lag utu xstuck dlm kepala aku. Hampeh…

Lepas tu ada explorace, dimana 1^st station ada 2 soalan. Dia bagi kepingan untuk bentukkan rumah dan anak panah… yg rumah tum mg kami stuck… even abg AA dtg tolong pon… dia nk tolong mula2 sbb kitorang je yg xlepas lg umah tu. So dia pon tolong… lepas belek2 sana sini… tetiba dia gelak… HAIH SUSAH GAKK.. haprak abg ni. 

Tetiba kitorang main2. Dapat yg anak panah dulu… pastu baru umah… even lambat… xsangka kitorang yg kedua keluar dari 1^st station. 2^nd station, dia bagi paku. Suruh seimbangkan. Yg ni salah yg buat. So, terus menang… just bape minit je… tetiba abng Daniel yg jaga tu terus. Terkejut sbb cepat sangat. Hahahaha

Next 3^rd station ada dia bagi pingpong dan kertas. Buat bridge utk bola tu masuk dalam cawan polistrene. Time ni kitorg leads. Lepas tukitorg lepas. Then, dia suruh solat asar n makan tea. Jp… pastu. Sambung dgn last station.. dia bg paper untuk buat roda cam tank tu… semua kena berjalan dalam tu… hahahaha// lepas habis tu… ingat dah habissss????

Tetiba ada pakck garang ni… dia suruh merangkak bawah besi dan ada lumpur bawah tu… basah la baju aku ngok!!!!!!! Tapi aku cm suka buat. Mmg aku teringin masalahnya malu. Luqman kat depan tu.. tgk.. aku suh wan hakiom g dulu… last2 dia nk g skali ngan aku.. dah la dia cepat… habis die percikkan semua lumpur kat muka aku.

Lepas habis tu, ingat dh xde dah… lepas tu ada lagi part yg dia bagi satu bendera Malaysia dan byk batang paip dan beberapa gulung tali raffia.. (betul ke ejaan tu).. keje dia suh dirikan bendera tu setinggi boleh… jgn pegang Cuma ada tali je.

Lepas tu, aku mandi kolam… malam tu ada dinner barbeque… lepas tu plak… macam debat,,, sbb masa explorace tu, ada satu rules yg ada..

1-      Kamu hendaklah ikat kaki 3 orang sehingga habis game.\

2-      Kamu wajib jaga lilin dan lilin wajib dinyalakan sehingga habis game.

So, ada team yg bukak tali dan ada yang tak bukak… so basically, ni untuk debat mana yg betul.. bukak atau tak.. lepas 1 jam berlangsungnya debat… maka, ustaz azlan Tanya, LEPAS DEBAT NI… ADA SESIAPA YG NAK KELUAR GRUP.. ohh aku masuk grup geng yg xbukak. Grup yg bukak hanya grup ibnu sina… pastu tiba2 Abang AA panggil nama aku… FATINI NAK MASUK GRUP SANA KAN… pastu semua tgk aku… aku pon geleng laaa…. Mandai jee………

ya Allah… aku takut

8/11/2017   1:00 am

Aku rasa aku patut lupakan dia laaa… ya Allah… aku takut… serious aku takut… kalua benda ni jadi mcm kat plkn. Aku patut jangan ikutkan hati.. aku patut lupakan apa yang terjadi… aku takut. Aku x bersedia/. Aku malas. And aku malas nk nangis lagi… Ya Allah… kenapa laaaa kau datangkan dia dlm hidup aku… aku hanya orang biasa… haihhhhh.. aku rasa aku patut bgtau diorang supaya stop sebut nama dia depan aku… astarghfirullah

kem memperkasa diri

petanda apa ni

31/10/2017 isnin

I don’t know why when I met him. I suddenly feel hatred. Hate to see him. Today, I met him at UMBI café. Okay, after eat all this thing, he came out with his friend … then, yes, he looked at me… and I feel so angry on how he looks… whats wrong with you… is it necessary for you to gaze for a long time??? Heh… I do realized cuz I know it…. You dah nape… did I did something wrong????

aigoo full set formal attire really kills me

27/10/2017 jumaat

Yesterday I having an event mandate sukem… I managed the multi things. Well including the song, video and PowerPoint slide. That’s my first attempt on having a very serious and important job. Well I did some mistakes, at first… after few rehearsal… I manage to conduct the multi perfectly… applause for me plisss… hahahha thanks…

But that’s not my points to write here… the point is … I am so glad that there’s Hz was there also. He volunteered himself to be emcee. And with lisa. Yes I did jealous. But whole rehearsal and event… they don’t talk so much… just like strangers… so I don’t mind muahahahaha

I wanted to say hi… but im too shy. Haha… cant u noticed how I act if I was there and try to approach him… if.. if… he doesn’t reply or react… that might be too much embarrassing… hahahha

He was too cute…. Serious!!! My weakness… I cant see man in full formal suit. Blazer and tie. That fuckin attire… really makes my heart dudududdududu… like shit!

Hahahaha… throughout the event and rehearsal… I cant keep my eyes away from him… hahahaha even though my job are too important… and need 200% concentration… in case if I don’t want any mistakes happen. But I cant control my ‘lust’… hahahahha

baru seminggu xjumpa... angau nak mati

dia... setelah 2 tahun, aku susah nak cari pengganti I... dia muncul.... dia punya kewujudan memang membuatkan aku benci. aku selalu merengus benci bila dia ada... tapi dalam diam.... hujung hati aku,, aku rindu dia... tapi bila saat aku terserempak dengan dia tanpa sedar atau tanpa keinginan.... aku macam angau...

apa kau buat weyh... hari ni 25/10/17 rabu... lepas lecture, aku nk g toilet... panaskan tangan... bila aku keluar... aku jumpa kau. ok that time, mata kau dan mata aku bertembung... masing2 tengok... lama...

tercengang ke weyh... kalau aku, aku macam kena pukau... tetiba freeze.. ngekkkkkk

mata kau... buat aku meracau laaa... nape hari ni aku tgk kau... macam hensem, xmacam sebelom ni... mungkin sebab ni first time aku tengok kau pakai kemeja... warna back white stripes.. aku plak baju hitam and kelabu... see,, jodoh le tu. aminnn...

tapi bila pikir plak.... macam xnakkkk... dia muda setahun

damn wan damnnnn

😫😫😫😫😫😫😱😱😱😱😱😱😈😈😈😈

hahaha even kawan pon xpaham hati kau

yeah ive already told my friend about you... on how you help me to get his attention... but why... the way you acted... just like... okk, ive read somewhere,,, if u love someone... you willing to help her/him to make her/him happy.... and yes..

you did everything for me... just to make him knew me. yes ... it successful and totally makes me feels good having you as my friends..

all the stories ive told to my friends... they just curious how exactly... your feeling towards me...

muahahahaha... even me .. i dont know what youre thinking.

if men think women are complicated. dehhh me as a woman. (its hard to called myself woman)

for me it is hard to understand men's feeling. nanana... still i dont knoww..

diorang dah semakin BESAR DAN TINGGI dari aku...

well Besar dan tinggi di sini... is not meant that they are becoming bigger. it is a sentences on how to say... now become successful than me...

yeah I did jealous... somehow/.... yes since primary school i crush on him... F1 and H1....
(That time im not watching flower boys yet... so its my idea first on how to called them without anyone knows,,,)

they become more and more successful.... whattttt

but i do really hope that one day... please let fate meet us in aright time.... i wanna shows that I can. I can do it...\

i am not the same like before...

haiihhhh....

every night before sleep.... i will keep on remember on how embarrassing I am when I was younger..

hahahaha\\ if I would like to list down.... maybe... its too much...

but i do really hope... someday, we will meet in a good time....

Justin bieber - never say never... really suits me now....

muahahahahaha

kejam tol... kot ye pon jangan la gebang gitu skali. sis x suka

10:51 pm 23/10/2017

Sumpah malu giler…. Hampeh xkan dia xingat aku langung… aku tau dia tau aku ni repeaters… tapi awat dia saje je Tanya aku kenal jiji ke tak!!!!!!!! Tapi memang bila aku jumpa dia…. Terus gila awkward,,, punya la beria nak jumpa dia… muahahahaha

Okkk it’s a bit kinda “perasan skit’ since… yeah I can understand if he kinda friendly but… seriously he asked me from where… bla bla… I said from perak. Then ask again perak where… I said from manjung… okkk that’s it…

Okkk it might like he don’t know my name but after he saw my face at first meeting damn…. Am I agaqin perasan sendiri or its reality that you are looking at me… HAHAHAHA …

Okkkk again at first taafuf of RIMD… you said want to having taaruf first… ok,,, so introduction first… cuz u said u didn’t know any of us… okkk

But why before intro, u said u want to ask question and suddenly u said “ okay wan fatini… boleh awak terangkan apa yang awak paham tentang program ni…."

Kau dah nape… at first u said u xkenal my name… after a few minutes before ice breaking and taaruf all that… u know my full name ( of koss without my full name , my dad name laaa)..

Nandato….

Sumpahh that’s very awkward.. I cant look at his face… hahahahahahahha… I really hope its doesn’t happens same as in national services… how I met him.

Serious… ive read somewhere… that it said if u love someone with redha Allah… that love never die… yes I agreed that I love him because I love him because he was pious.

But now…. Everything gone….

That boy so called GORENG PISANG

That time i was eating with su,  farzana n mesh.  We went to umbi for the second time and ordered char kuew teow.  Okay we sat and chatted waiting for meals.  In front of me was a group of first year boys. 

How do i know?  Damn please,  they sat in front of me.  Or u just say,  opposite me.  So,  i can see clearly what they were doing.  And one of the boy that sat opposite me was azhan. 

I realized what they were doing.  They kept on talking and looking at us and laughed.  That time i still didnt told my friends cuz maybe i was wrong.  So,  whenever i talk with su,  i obviously can see them. Clearly.  Crystal clear.  

And i still can't get it.  Wth azhan kept looking at me.  Damn.  If u saying that im just dreaming.  Dehhh have you been in a moment when your eyes meet with someone..  And do you think that person are not looking at u? 

Beside azhan,  theres adam , amir hakim and azam. And now i realized all of them has name started with A. hahahhaa coincidence maybe. 

Then our meals arrived.  While eating.  Mesh saw someone bringing pisang goreng to the boys.  And she wanted to buy that as well. 

Wtf...  U know what.  She was shouting asking for goreng pisang.  Like hell.  Is she too hungry that too desperate need that pisang goreng.  Then she asked that she wanted the pisang goreng on mak cik's hand.  That mak cik said  this goreng pisang for the boys. 

Like fuck... It's too embarrassing... Huh

And u know what the boys kept on looking and laughed.  Damn.  Fucking damn

Then the mak cik returned and give the pisang goreng to boys.  And came towarda me and asked how much we want the pisang goreng . She asked the price.  4 for rm1. And he asked for rm5 and asking for extra.  Damn shit... 

Then,  after that mak cik gone ... The boys stood up and one of them came to us.  He gave the pisang goreng and he asked to finished cuz they have class after that. 

I was totally speechless and froze.  

That boy amir hakim.  Damn hahahhaa